I recently visited Kobe to see the film in the title.
It’s a story of Allen Nelson, a U.S. Marine Corps veteran. He served in the Vietnam War, and the harrowing experiences he endured led to the development of PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder).
Following counseling and treatment, his condition improved. He began giving lectures—primarily in Japan—about his wartime experiences. Over the course of more than a decade, he delivered approximately 1,000 lectures. The film is an adaptation of his book of the same title. Shinya Tsukamoto directed it.
Due to disruptions in the JR line service caused by an accident, I arrived a bit late at the movie theater, which had just over 100 seats, and only to find it sparsely populated with about 20 people in the audience.
The quiet, sparse atmosphere vanished the moment the film began. It launched into a relentless series of brutal, violent scenes. The first shows Allen’s father—a military veteran suffering from mental illness—being subjected to extreme violence at the hands of police officers who had arrived in response to reports of him acting violently toward his family; even after he has fallen to the ground, the officers continue to beat and kick him.
After growing up, Allen enlisted in the Marine Corps and stayed in Okinawa for a while to undergo training at a U.S. military base before being deployed to Vietnam. The film depicts scenes in which his fellow Marines inflict persistent and brutal assaults to local Okinawa people.
Then, scenes from the battlefield in Vietnam follow, where intense violence and slaughter are depicted, accompanied by the deafening sounds of gunfire. Though those are part of movie and created by the filmmakers, they are so brutal and difficult to even look at. Those scenes are repeated over and over again. While I often encounter descriptions of people wounded by bombings or gunfire in various books documenting war, this was quite a tough experience as if those very scenes were unfolding, raw and vivid, right before my eyes.
It appears that Allen developed PTSD during his military service. Following his discharge, he began receiving counseling from a psychiatrist, Dr. Daniels. To help Allen open his mind, Dr. Daniels poses various question. Then, at the end of every session, he invariably asks, "Why did you kill people?" Each time, Allen reacts with visible anger, shouting, "Because I was a soldier! It was my job! I was following orders! If I hadn't killed, I would have been killed!"
As the sessions progress and Allen gradually becomes more capable of confronting his wartime experiences, this same exchange continues to recur. Then, one day, Allen replies, "Because I wanted to kill." Dr. Daniels says, "Thank you," and places an arm around the shoulders of Allen, who sits with his head bowed. It is a moment and a scene that carries a powerful message.
I do not believe Allen always harbored a desire to kill. In fact, he is illustrated as a self-restrained man in the film. However, he admits the fact that there were some instances when he did feel an urge to kill during the repeated battles. He answered in this way as a form of self-admonition.
What message of the filmmakers do we read from this scene? The message I read is as follows:
A latent capacity for madness and savagery lies in deep part of every human being. Most people, except criminals, live out their lives peacefully, never reveal this horrible facet. War is a unique human condition, in which people feel no hesitation in drawing out and detonate this hidden darkness. Certain individuals deliberately create such a horrible condition with the intent of maximizing the number of people killed. War should not be viewed as a mere extension of everyday life. It must be understood as a departure from all kinds of norm—an extreme state of abnormality.
The film’s title comes from a scene that takes place shortly after Allen has left the military. At the suggestion of an acquaintance, he speaks to a group of elementary school children about his wartime experiences.
When his talk is about to end, a young black girl quietly raises her hand and asks, "Mr. Nelson, did you kill people?" Allen is left speechless for a while, but finally, he closes his eyes and says, "Yes, I did." (My recollection of these details may be slightly imprecise.)
The girl steps forward, draws close to Allen, and says, "I’m sorry you had to do it." Then, other children in the room also gather around him. This event pushed Allen to receive counseling services.
I felt as if these children are God and angels. It is depicted as a scene that evokes the idea of God offering salvation to Allen. Here, again, the narrative suggests that war forces people to draw out their madness without hesitation, thus, is the ultimate evil.
This is a good film for understanding the reality of war, but it contains many scenes that are difficult for teenagers to watch.
In September 2025, U.S. President Donald Trump signed an executive order to use "Department of War" as an additional official designation for the Department of Defense. The Department of War was created in 1789 by the first president, George Washington, and served as the name of the organization overseeing the U.S. military until 1947, two years after the end of World War II.
The Department of Defense derives its name from the concrete act of "defense"—a term that is, in a sense, technical. The word "War," by contrast, is highly abstract and vague, yet possesses a terrifying power to incite people to unleash the madness, just like drug. To use such a term as the official name for an executive organization—especially an organization having a fearsome destructive capacity—strikes me as nothing short of insanity.
Fortunately, public opinion polls in the United States indicate that 70% of Americans view this name unfavorably, and within Congress, the prevailing sentiment appears to be against allowing the Department of Defense to officially change its name.
